Gloria Estefan — for her bravery in the face of tragedy
“Leaf” Phoenix — itt should have been you, bitch!
Kim Basinger — the only good Kim is a dead Kim (see Tom Petty’s “Last Dance with Mary Jane” video)

Michael Douglas
Lara “Thin” Boyle
Tom Cruise
Penelope Cruz
David E. (for “I love my Emaciated bitches” Kelley
Alyssa Milano — I can.not. believe I forgot her. OMG. I hate her almost as much as I hated her fucking cunt character on Who’s da Boss?
Ben Affleck — for waiting until the last minute to call off the wedding! I’ll nevah see that Vera Wang dress now, you stupid bastard. Also, get over yourself.
Barbara Walters — for creating The View and, especially, for asking Monica what phone sex is. So fucking stupid.
Jay Leno — because he’s not fucking funny and he’s a tool. And he makes stupid gay jokes. And I hate him.

Samantha Mathis
Martha Plimpton
Mia Sara