For fuck’s sweet sake, Marissa, just die already. You are far too stupid to live. First you screw your mutant boyfriend just to get back at Ryan, then you force the audience to watch you sweat in slow-mo and stumble around in Blair Witch vision for what felt like three years before having the decency to collapse. OD-cam, thou art my new nemesis.

What really sucks is that we know she’s going to be fine. Welcome to The O.C., bitch, where spork wounds vanish in hours and guys who got shot in the arm two weeks ago are happily throwing punches. They probably don’t even need to take her to the hospital; she can just breathe the miraculous air of Newport and suddenly she’ll awake, completely unscathed.

I didn’t hate Summer for a whole thirty seconds tonight. First because she called Holly a bitch and second because she shoved her. That was awesome. She’s still nowhere near good enough for Seth, though, and if her storyline ends up being anything other than realizing that he’s exactly what she wants only to discover that it’s too late and he’s moved on, there won’t be enough flaming nonos. As it stands, there already aren’t enough for her nightgown. Oh, and what the hell is with Sandy describing her as “hot” two weeks in a row? Is she the Donna (Martin or Pinciotti) of the show? Saying it all the time doesn’t make it true, writers.

Ryan was soooo trying to make me love him as much as Seth with the ‘spooning in his sleep’ thing. It didn’t work in the slightest, but I must applaud his efforts. More nudity in future eps would also be advisable.

Oh, Seth. Don’t leave me! Fucking baseball. If you must go, promise me you’ll return from hiatus having developed better taste in women. I can’t take much more of this Summer-worshipping bullshit. Siiiiigh.