Unless you're home early in the day as I (cough) sometimes find myself when I'm actually supposed to be at work, maybe you've missed the uplifting, pro-women attitudes of Starting Over. Brought to you by the famewhore vultures Bunim-Murray, who also brought you The Real World and all the assholes who have moved to L.A. in hopes of fame and fortune (but only ended up with a "tasteful and classy" Playboy spread... )!
This daily, hourlong drama follows the exploits of six women from different backgrounds and ages who have fucked up their lives in some way. And all of them have a...secret from their past.
It's really not as dramatic as it sounds. Here's a rundown of the women in the house:
Cassie, 20 years old, tomboy from the wrong side of the tracks with the accent to match. She lived with foster parents she hated and has no idea who her father is because momma was a ho.
Nyanza, the fabulous-in-her-own-mind Black woman who is there to learn to "be authentic." Um, yeah. Good luck with that one.
Maureen, a hardcore chainsmoker with the raspy deathrattle voice to match. According to Nyanza, Maureen doesn't bathe. That's their idea of drama. "You don't bathe!" "Fuck you, I bathe!" She also wants to be a stand-up comic, and her best joke is something about the orgasm scene in When Harry Met Sally. Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeext!
Lori is the socially stunted one whose husband died recently. She has interesting ideas on the concepts of "dancing" and "talking in a normal manner." She's the loner, sort of. She was clearly raised in a deep, dark pit because she is incapable of acting like she wasn't raised by wolves. Maybe that's her idea of "being authentic," what the fuck do I know? All I know is that I would never be able to have a conversation with her.
Andy, the plus-sized model who cakes her face in makeup. Sooo much makeup. All the time with the makeup! Everyone hates Andy, and she knows it. Andy cries a lot and gets very theatrical. A lot. Her...secret is that her twin sister killed herself and her boyfriend. It's sad yes, but I still hate Andy. Or at least, I hate that she can't live without red lipstick.
Christine is there to lose weight and get back to dating. Asshole ex-husband who died suddenly of colon cancer during their divorce. I would start by touching up my roots if I was her, but that's neither here nor there. Or perhaps I would purchase some blotting tissues, but that's just me. I care about my skin tone. Moving on...
Why the 
, you ask? Because what could have been an interesting premise is boiled down to five hours a week (oh, and trust me, that's more than plenty!) of women bitching at women.
Don't get me wrong, women bitch. They bitch at each other, and they bitch behind each others' backs. Of course they do. But rather than explore different facets of these very different women, they only show the bitchery. I'm sure they think that only bitchery will keep people's interest (and of course, that's part of the reason I tune in each day), but couldn't they show women actually being nice to each other? Getting along and helping each other with their goals of starting over?
Then there's an equally annoying precedent to this particular reality show: the life coaches.
That's right, they get life coaches who give them daily assignments of varying difficulty level. I'm all for giving these women some structure, but life coaches? Give me a fucking break. Are these women licensed therapists? I don't think so. What training does one even need other than the ability to live, really?
The so-called expert brought in by the life coaches (aptly named Rana and Rhonda) to help two of the women stop smoking was a hypnotist. In tomorrow's show, the life coaches are bringing in an expert to help draw the house together again and help the women who hate each other learn to bond.
In the spirit of sisterhood, or making $120 an hour as a so-called life coach? You make the call. Will any of these women met their goals through the loving support of their fellow women? Hell no. But I'll be watching.
