Um, has anyone else noticed that Angel's sassy "new direction" is little more than a pathetic mishmash of everything that ever sucked on Buffy? What in Beek's name was Joss thinking?

"Hmmm. A lot of the fans are worried that Spike's going to take over the show, so I should definitely allay their fears from the get-go by limiting the amount of Spike shots in the credits to...oh, say, thirty. And I'll only give him second billing. That'll be, like, a gift to the loyal fans. Even though their viewership wasn't enough to get us renewed and they probably didn't watch Firefly for me. Assholes.

Anyway...we need more girls, so I guess we'll bring back Harmony and have her make really lame jokes and trot out her annoying repertoire of inappropriately cutesy nicknames for Spike. Oh my god, that's brilliant. I am a genius.

What else? Well, people really dug that whole Initiative storyline, so I'll do something like that. Yeah, we'll give Fred her own lab and make her act all cold and pretentious like Professor Walsh. And Angel can grapple with the soldier guys and show them how his way is the right way. That won't be repetitive at all!

And I should probably add another girl to the mix. I suppose I could bring back Lilah, but god knows that viewers prefer having brand new characters shoved in their faces. Especially when they're obnoxious and lame. And I'll make sure we cast someone who really sucks.

Now I need a Gunn storyline. Oooh, I know, I'll do an homage to The Matrix! Instead of knowing Kung Fu, Gunn will know habeas corpus! Awesome! I am soooo fucking imaginative.

That just leaves Giles, er, Wesley. Let's see...he can...um…there can be a thing about...uh...oh, fuck it. I'll figure him out in February, if I'm not busy with Firefly: The Totally Awesome Movie Based on My Totally Awesome Show That Those Big Meanies at Fox Canceled Just Because Nobody Watched. Yeah. My movie is gonna blow Scooby-Doo 2 out of the water! Fuck you, SMG!

Um, wait. What was I thinking about? Oh right, my kickass new Angel plan. Spike + Harmony = Comic Gold!"