My man T was worrying me there for a while. He'd settled down with one woman and he didn't even seem to hate her. (I can only assume she was not fat, but as to whether or not she had a humpback, I can only speculate that she did. No normal woman would go for T2003.)

He was happy. He was going on lots of trips. I thought it was all over between us. How would the hate live on when he was so blissfully happy? And we can only assume that he was very close to having sex again for the second time in his nearly 30-year-old life (shudder). He even had an entire entry about how much his friends say that he rocks.

Then it happened. Whether I invoked it, or if it was simply the righteous will of whatever benevolent power exists in the universe, I cannot say. I prefer to think that it was wondrous mixture of the two, with a little touch of "Ha ha, EAT IT, Karmaboy!" thrown in for good measure.

Because she dumped him.

Not only dumped him, but gave him the "I can't do this/It's not fair to you/I just want to be friends" suckerpunch combo!

In my world, the clouds parted, the birds sang, and the air was so dewy sweet I could almost taste the deliciousness of being alive again. Bitter T was back.

*sob*

Bitter T's latest entries are so beautiful, I'd be tempted to print them out and frame them, if only they weren't so filled with squick.

The woman hatred? It's back, too! This week alone he has described his (dramaqueen, hello? It's an online journal, not a therapy session!) thoughts of driving his car off a bridge.

This can only mean that, thank Beek, there was no sex involved in this relationship. And luckily, this poor humpbacked dear had enough sense left to get the hell out.

In a joyous stomach-turning twist of events, his lack of filter has remained in place. Because as he posted for the entire world (okay, his mom and probably two friends, maybe? Plus me, of course!) to see, last night he pigged out on Krispy Kreme donuts (uh-oh! What happened to the FattyHater we all know and hate?) while he mastu...masturb...masterbat, you know what? I can't even say it.

This vile, vile human being posted in his journal about how he ate donuts and touched himself while watching lesbian porn.

I'm so torn between being squicked out and wondering about the penis-holding, nipple-tweaking, donut-holding, multi-tasking symphony that must have been at work to accomplish this squick-feat.

I can't even balance my checkbook while stuck in traffic.