OMB, this show is bad. It’s more than bad, actually. It’s boring. It took all of my self-control to not fast-forward through the entire thing. TV Gal and Wanda/Kristin and whoever else said this episode was way better than the premiere can suck me. Once they wriggle their way out of James Marsters’s scrawny little ass, that is.

Yeah, it was so much better this week, where every single scene was all. About. Spike. Even the ones he wasn’t in! Gah. IhatehimIhatehimIhatehim. He makes my fucking skin crawl. That horrible accent! The overuse of “Britishisms.” (By the way, writers, “starkers” means naked, not crazy. Asshats.) And why was he panting when he showed up? He DOESN’T BREATHE! And what the fuck was with him constantly hugging himself? Was poor widdle Spikey-wikey cold? Because that makes NO FUCKING SENSE, given that he’s a) a vampire and b) a ghost! Jebus fucking Christ!

*breathes*

Setting aside my all-consuming hatred of that pathetic, pasty, screentime-sucking douchebag for a moment, I’d like to point out that after two viewings I realized that they haven’t really begun to address his presence amongst the Angel crew and I don’t care. I’m not the slightest bit curious who sent him or why or how it was even possible. Last season, even when I was hating the hell out of him on Buffy, I was interested enough to wonder about his situation: Was he souled on purpose? Did he still have the chip? Would his personality change at all? Maybe I’ve learned the hard way that the answers, if they ever bother to provide any, will likely be disappointing and/or incomprehensible. Or maybe I just know that the pursuit of them will only result in even more Spike on my screen. Spike, sucking in his cheeks. Spike, “flirting” with Fred. Spike, sparring with Harmony. (Hey, did you know that they used to be a couple? And that she called him silly names? And it was soooooo soooooo funny? Thank god she keeps mentioning it! ) Spike, casting oddly wistful sidelong glances at Angel. (I’m starting to think Marsters is one of those annoying actors who tries to play up his scenes with the star of whatever show he’s on.) Spike, rambling on incessantly about the same bullshit while Wesley, Gunn, and Lorne get five lines to split between them. Spike, doing to this show in less than two episodes what it took him a solid season-and-a-half to do to Buffy. I can’t believe I’m actually going to watch this shit.

O.C.? Where are you?