Sigh. Just a few short months after I finally got rid of Spike, Lost had to go and drop a brand new antihero asshole onto my screen. Like Spike, Sawyer has abs and cheekbones that are in constant competition to prove themselves the most chiseled of his features. Like Spike, Sawyer (according to people who are not me) delivers a steady supply of snark-encased sex appeal. And unfortunately, like Spike, Sawyer has a rabid, delusional colony of fangirls who are ready to rationalize every negative act of his and shout down any and all detractors (i.e., viewers such as myself, who enjoy using the logical part of our brains). To them, I can only say this:

1. Sawyer is not “so cute”
2. Sawyer is not “so complicated”
3. Sawyer is not “so misunderstood”
4. Sawyer is not “so desperately in need of real, unconditional love”

No, he’s not. No, I’m sorry, you couldn’t be more wrong. But I’ll tell you exactly what Sawyer is. He’s a cold-blooded killer. And a stupid one at that (way to double check the information your partner, who also happens to be a CONMAN, gives you before you start plugging an innocent stranger). Off the island, he made a living by lying to people. On the island, he’s a surly, lazy jerk who offers nothing to his fellow castaways but dumb nicknames and sarcastic comments. Oh, and theft (he needed Claire’s diary for what, exactly?). And racism (lets not forget how he pointed a finger at Sayid in the aftermath of the crash). Yeah, he’s a fucking peach, all right.

I realize, of course, that there’s nothing to be done about his or Spike’s (and I suspect they overlap) fangirls. The scores of women, teenaged and adult alike, who come to worship and adore characters like this are indicative of a much greater problem that seems to exist almost solely in my gender: The Bad Boy Fixation, otherwise known as The “My Love (and My Love Alone) Shall Be the Soothing Balm that Heals His Tortured Soul and Makes Him Whole Again and He Will Love Me (And Me Alone) Forever and Ever Because I Cured Him By Bringing Out The Goodness That Was Inside All Along And Just Needed The Love Of The Right Woman (That’s Me) To Emerge” Fixation. One hopes that this is limited to their TV-viewing and doesn’t exist in their real lives. But even then, it’s fairly disturbing. And I’ll be honest, the Sawyer-fen bother me even more than the Spike-fen. Because at least Spike had an excuse. He was a vampire, evil was in his nature. Sawyer, as far as we know, is a human being. One who had a crappy childhood, but is that really grounds for lying, stealing and killing?

Save your missives, Sawyer-ettes. The answer is no.