TomKat - most annoying couple, most annoying moniker! Evah!

[isadora]

TomKat it up, peeps.

[CoreyFlood]

They have to be the most annoying celebrities ever if even other annoying celebrities are getting annoyed.

Rosie's blog: (http://www.rosie.com/)


after watching tom on o
and then everywhere else
in the free world
i think i may need to up my meds

[deux]

Tommie boy is being interviewed here on Rove Live (http://www.rovelive.com/home/) Tuesday night. Let's see how he goes on a light entertainment show. Katie was on a couple of weeks ago and Rove *never* mentioned Tom, TomKat, her lovelife, her personal life - NOTHING! - and yet she managed to squeeze in lots of mentions of it herself. Of course, it was nothing but the words "wonderful" and "amazing". But it was crazy that she brought it all up, especially when he actually wasn't referring to it. Hence the website sarcastically stating and -- yes -- he might just mention Katie, too.

[deux]

Cruise & Holmes to Tie the Knot at Scientology Headquarters

Los Angleles, CA (AHN) - Tom Cruise and fiancee Katie Holmes are planning a Scientology wedding that will take place next month.The British newspaper, the Sunday Express, reports Cruise is set to tie the knot at the Scientology headquarters in Los Angeles before honeymooning on a yacht with his soon-to-be third wife.The 43-year-old actor has previously been married to actresses Mimi Rogers and Nicole Kidman.A source at the religious center says, "Tom has encouraged Katie to embrace our faith and they have both agreed to a Scientology wedding service."According to another report, a source explains, "It has become a prerequisite of Tom's that the closest people in his life should also be Scientologists. He was mortified when Nicole turned her back on his faith, but he is overjoyed that Katie has embraced it."Well they had to do *something*, news was starting to die down.

And a website (http://www.tomcruiseisnuts.com/) to visit before Tom's legal team kicks into gear.

[Sarah]

Even though they seem to have disappeared for a bit, Morford questions if Cruise is the new Gibson-like nutball (http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/gate/archive/2005/07/06/notes070605.DTL&type=printable)! Links galore. Most of which we've covered. But heeeeeee!

[isadora]

The $cientology wedding ceremony -- do they have to wear funny hats or hold those little cans so John Travolta or Jason Dohring's dad can monitor their levels of honest/preparedness? -- has my head spinning.

Perhaps Joey Potter and Katie Holmes share the same liquid backbone? Not that I had any real respect for Katie Holmes as an individual or even as an actress but DAMN she just seems like such an unformed person for being 26. Does she not have any of her own convictions? She bugs my tits.

[ophy]

Went digging . . haven't found any reports of tin foil hats or e-meters present at a clam ceremony. However, the text sounds wackadilly.

Beliefnet's take on TomKat (http://www.beliefnet.com/story/168/story_16881_1.html#cont)


Rejoice you line of struggling life from eons gone, for here again, your track is sped and winged into a future fate by this, the union of a man and woman, crossing this bridge, whose child shall pace a future span . . .

After their vows, the couple may exchange rings embossed with Scientology's ARC triangle, which stands for Affinity Reality Communication



Okay, so first, I'm changing the vows to my own ceremony to include something about being a life form from eons ago and crossing a bridge, yada. And then, I am rushing out to get this triangle thingy tattooed on my butt. Even their most sacred religious crap sounds like the name of a third rate company incorporated in Delaware! If someone said something about Affinity Reality Communication to me, I would assume they were trying to sell me a local highspeed connectivity package. Speaking of corporations and the clams, Jason Dohring's dad just sold Neopets to Viacom for a bajillion dollars. Cha ching.

Other ceremony links:

Overall, their ceremonies sound depressingly normal according to this forum post:
http://www.beliefnet.com/boards/message_list.asp?boardID=19173&discussionID=439317

and this tiny pic here, also looks depressingly normal:
official pic (http://www.scientology.org/en_US/religion/auditing/pg017.html)

[snickerdoodle]

normal, yes, but the minister in the first pic is dressed like he should be on the flight deck of the Starship Enterprise.

[NeoMaxy]

I've never understood why Katie had the devoted fans that she did. She always seemed personality-less to me, aside from her love of vomiting in bar bathrooms and affinity for wanting fame at any price.

[MagicadeSpell]

Katie's on the cover of the new W magazine. She's been totally brainwashed and sounds utterly nuts. Read and weep:
She crazy. (http://www.style.com/w/feat_story/070505/full_page.html)
Skerry. (http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/news/archive/2005/07/08/entertainment/e095425D36.DTL)

[deux]

Actually she's not sounding so brainwashed to me anymore. She's sounding frigging programmed.
"I'm learning," Holmes says, as the makeup artist applies eye shadow, "to celebrate my own spirit, my own being." This must mean you totally lose what little discernible personality you *had* and spirits and beings have nothing but rote statements to offer.

[isadora]

That W story confirms so many things that I thought were just gossip page fodder! Jessica the Clam is so scary! When she started answering questions for her? I just wanted to run out of my office because it was creepy!

Creepiest replies:


Do you worry that this might be a rebound romance for either of you?

"I've never met anyone like Tom," Holmes replies, her beautiful green eyes focused on nothing in particular.

...
Did you learn anything in your previous relationship (five years with actor Chris Klein, which came to an end when they called off their engagement this past winter) that has been a benefit to this one?

"Chris and I care about each other and we're still friends. Tom is the most incredible man in the world."

If Holmes were actually answering the questions posed—rather than simply reciting the same mantralike love letter—she'd be making a somewhat provocative point: Her relationship is not like other relationships, with their conflicts, compromises and complications; there will be no apology flowers, nights spent on the couch or couples therapy for these two (as a practicing Scientologist, Cruise strongly disapproves of psychiatry).

Has it been a challenge to make his kids feel comfortable?

"They're just exceptional people."


I really don't like how The "Kate" Bot has taken to calling Tom's children people. They are not people. They are his children and they are still quite young and this must be reasonably weird for them.

Wow, do I hate this pairing! But I love their crazy! I'm so conflicted.

[Sarah]

I was reading that and kept thinking that it sounded TOO MUCH like recall, coached answers. I mean, I nevah really liked or cared about Katie other than she might have made the J happy but it's really scary to think she's been $tepford-ized.

[LaaLaa]

The end of that article...was that a joke? I subscribe to W and I...I don't want that in my house. Really, that article was all jokey, right? Right? Hold me.

[Ginni]

So, who thinks that during the 16 day absence, she was put in one of the training camps and totally brainwashed? That article that someone linked up about the Laura Declaration, or whatever, makes me totally think that they got her to go to one of the camps, and is now totally entrenched.

Blech. That's quite scary. I wonder if in 10 years (or is that 9 years and 11 months?) when they get divorced, she's going to come out with the truth behind it all, or whether they've got her washed for good?

[jennk]

That is terrifying. I have no words for that interview. I almost feel bad still being amused by the whole thing, because it does seem like something fucked up is going on.

And they really need to add something into their brainwashing program about behaving like an actual human being instead of a crazy ass robot, because they aren't endearing anyone to their belief system with this weirdness.

[Sarah]

So over the weekend I had dinner with some people who run in Important LA Circles and have Important Studio Jobs or something. I don't know. It also involves the Junior League. Anyways, they said that the $cientology ban on a gay lifestyle is a front and not only is Tiny Tom happily residing in his manse with his gay lovah but CK1 is still with La Holmes in sooper sekrit while she takes the paid acting job of her life. AND! Travolta is gay too and it's all a front and everyone's a beard. So by the Junior League of Extraordinary Gossip, I call Tru Enuf!

I'm not sure I believe about Kate-Not-Katie and CK1 because of that drunk driving bender he went on after they broke up and she was linked to Josh Hart-not.

[ophy]

Yeah, totally not buying the CK1 rumor. I still think of him as just her bearding training wheels. But John Travolta! I totally buy this, and I don't know why. Maybe it's just because I find Kelly Preston kinda kerreepy. Didn't they also have one of those "met cute" stories, where she was a big fan and had decided she wanted to marry him before she met him or some such nonsense? I can't find any verification for that story, but it's stuck in my head somehow.

I did find this great description of Kelly's lovelife:
She married actor Kevin Gage after critics started noticing her in movies like Mischief and Secret Admirer (both released in 1985), but the marriage ended a few months after meeting John Travolta while filming The Experts in 1987. She then moved in with George Clooney in time for the release of Twins, a big film that was expected to revitalize her career. It didn't, whereupon Clooney left her for an old girlfriend and Kelly sued him for custody of his pot bellied pig. Soon after that she hooked up with Charlie Sheen, who gave her an engagement ring a few months later, then shot her in the arm in their apartment (he says it was an accident), then dumped her in 1990 for porn actress Ginger Lynn Allen. After a few months, she met up again with John Travolta, and married him the following year, becoming then a high profile defender both of Scientology and of her husband's heterosexuality. (Travolta's the subject of many a gay rumor.) this guys wants to see KP nekkid (http://www.homunculus.com/eikona/preston.html)

No wonder she decided to become a professional beard. Oh, and her mom is a mental health professional, btw.

And I know this ain't officially a $cientology thread, but how skerry is this page? If you scroll past the Travolta/Preston testimonials, you find one from the voice of Bart Simpson:
I’ve got two beautiful children, an incredibly supportive husband, a staff working with me for the same products, future dreams and goals and all of this is because I became a Scientologist. - Nancy Cartwright all good things come from L.Ron (http://www.scientology.org/wis/WISENG/17/17-01.htm) L.Ron is even responsible for the fact that her children are beautiful. Man, he really can do *anything*.

[Res]

But Anne Archer's is the best: "Scientology makes people sane, free and able."
Yeah, Tom is reading the list to KH and going, "Check, check, um...check."

Been thinking of what Ginni said a few posts back. Didn't TC dump NK with less than a month to their 10th anniversary - when she would have been able to get half of his $? But other than the "I don't want to talk about it for the sake of the children" line she hasn't said anything really nasty about him. I'm not buying that - I think he is still paying her off to keep her mouth shut - and he'll do the same with KH, when the time comes.

[Sarah]

The Cruise Clams totally had him dump Kidman before the 10-year mark. It was more money for them. I wonder if Kidman signed some kind of confidentiality thing. The Sea Org makes you sign a contract for one billion years. :rollin:

I think I'm a Travolta believer, yo! This would all explain why they get along so well with Oprah, too.

[ophy]

Tru Enuf! Travolta (http://www.skeptictank.org/gen3/gen01937.htm)


"It was obvious to me from Travolta's mannerisms, the way he kept touching himself and the way he kept staring at me, that he was looking for a gay male to have fun with," says the executive, who asked that he be identified only as Mark.

[Sarah]

Wait, whattabout his Tru Luv Diana who died in his arms in the '70s? Wasn't she like way older than he was? Didn't he like take forever to get over that or something? OMB, if she was way older, she was protecting her young gay lovah from the Hollywood horrors. *sniffle* That's beautiful.

[roly]

Didn't TC dump NK with less than a month to their 10th anniversary - when she would have been able to get half of his $?
If memory serves, TC tried to claim that they had separated before the 10-year mark, but then she miscarried after they announced the split and DNA testing reportedly proved that he was the father, so that fucked up his plans. Dicksmack.

[isadora]

DNA testing? No way!

ETA: Salon.com has an article (http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2005/07/13/katie/print.html) on the W article. Must view an ad to read it but it's interesting because it discusses this bit of entertainment journalism as something truly creepy and disturbing.

[roly]

I have no idea if the testing was really done, though I heard (read?) it was. I can't imagine him not demanding a test, if he was determined to keep his money and believed it wasn't his. Remember how he was all assy and cryptic when asked why they split up? "Nic knows why." The only statement I found online about the miscarriage was this:

Tom Cruise was the father of the baby Nicole Kidman miscarried in March, according to a deposition by the actress in their divorce proceedings. The syndicated television magazine Extra said that it obtained papers filed Thursday by Kidman in response to Cruise's divorce petition. Cruise filed for divorce in Frbruary after more than 10 years of marriage. Excerpts released by Extra prior to broadcast state: "During the balance of December and thereafter the parties were intimate. In fact, respondent became pregnant by petitioner but lost the baby through a miscarriage." Extra said the document also stated that Kidman urged Cruise to enter marriage counselling, but he refused.

[ophy]

From Ausiello's press tour diary:


WB’s communications director, Keith Marder, kicks off his traditional press-tour stand-up routine with a jab at Tom Cruise: "I always knew Tom would end up with someone from Dawson’s Creek. I just thought it would be James Van Der Beek."

Oh, no he di'int (http://www.tvguide.com/News/Insider/2005/0725/02insider.htm)

Hee!

I love the press tour . . . always more fun than the upfronts.

[isadora]

Most ridiculous item yet:

The controversial Church of Scientology has slammed reports one its rituals was responsible for the sores on Katie Holmes' mouth in May. Only a week after Tom Cruise and Holmes confirmed they had been dating for "a couple of weeks" in late April, the former Dawson's Creek star was photographed with several cold sores and a red rash around her mouth. While most critics believed Holmes had acquired the sores from her public kissing sessions with Cruise, several gossip columnists claimed the 26-year-old actress developed the sores after enduring a Scientology process, known as purification. Holmes has been studying the religion since she began dating her now-fiance Cruise. The alleged client of the purification is given vitamin B3 (niacin), which helps to decrease cholesterol and boost circulation. However, a spokesman for the church says, "Whatever is on Katie's face has nothing to do with us. It's insulting that you would ask such a thing."

Scientology gives you cold sores? Hee!

[LaaLaa]

Hah! I think TomKat has come full circle because I'm finally starting to enjoy ridiculous shit like that. And this (http://www.boomspeed.com/allhailme/072605_katiesbirthmark.jpg). (From Pink is the new blog (http://trent.blogspot.com/), my favorite)

[NeoMaxy]

I love that her cold sores warrant a press release.

I was watching the Today show yesterday for a few minutes, watching Matt Lauer interview John Cusack and he asked about his lovelife. JC said something to the effect of, why would you ask me that? Why would I talk about that on television?

Ahh, sanity and shut-up-ed-ness in an actor. How dreamy.

[Ginni]

Heh. Tom Cruise as a dog. (http://www.newyorker.com/shouts/content/?050725sh_shouts)

[Ginni]

Quote from an email from a buddy of mine: The one that usually gives me the goods.
<someone> did a few days’ work on “Mission Impossible 3” this week, and she said she found herself falling under the spell of Cruise’s niceness enough to appreciate that he’s a good actor. But she did step down into the muck enough to note that there were two directors’ chairs on set — one for Tom, and one that says “Mrs. C To Be.”

One word: BLECH!

[IssieCol]

OMB! I'm putting "Mrs. L 'til Hell" on all my shit from now on. Thanks, CFFC!

[diesel]

Duuuuuuuudes, there is a bun in KH's oven! (http://people.aol.com/people/articles/0,19736,1114381,00.html)

[snickerdoodle]

Who's the father?

[isadora]

And somewhere Nicole Kidman and Naomi Watts are having the single cattiest Dawson's Creek viewing party in history!

Oh, to a fly on that wall!

[ophy]

I'm a little irritated that MW and JJ have been too distracted with their own "lives" to get off their asses and perform a goddamn intervention already. And now it's too late! The devil spawn is your fault. Josh!

Although, if the tot ends up looking like Charlie Conway in a few years, then I just hope JJ got his cut.

[Herman]

Let's hope she brings the baby through her ass. That will clear up who the father is.

[NeoMaxy]

You mean she's NOT saving herself for marriage?

My world view is askew. Askew, I say!

Oh wait, that baby was probably created in a Scientology lab anyway so there was no sex needed.

[Ginni]

Tom Cruise's fiancée, Katie Holmes, is pregnant with the couple's child, Cruise's spokesperson, Lee Anne DeVette, tells PEOPLE exclusively.

Is it just me that instantly went "But not HIS child"??? I mean, phrasing it that way makes it not a lie when it turns out that she's been knocked up by turkey baster, and they're 'adopting it together', you know?

What I mean is, if I were to get knocked up (deliberately, obviously), it would be OUR child, but not Fiona's, whereas MW is carrying Heath's baby. Or does that make me an anal cow?

[roly]

I have a feeling they used that phrasing because it's more PC/progressive than saying that she's pregnant with "his" child.

I'm going to embarrassedly admit that my immediate thought when I read this news was that the J tried to stage an intervention by nailing her, resulting in the forthcoming Spawn. My next thought, of course, was that I'll totally read that fic when it pops up (and it so will).

Jebus. RLTL is like a terminal illness.

[isadora]

*cough* You will send me a link when you find that fic, right?

And I think it's a weird turn of phrase, too. I mean, she's engaged to Tiny Tom and she's pregnant. Unless I'm missing something, the implication is that the child would be the spawn of Tom.

I don't understand why anyone would feel the need to clarify at all. But I deal with marketing people all day and they write tons of shitty copy so I'm not going to pick up any hidden meaning (at least not without that fic to guide me).

I actually have a $cientology conspiracy spin on this. Why didn't Nicole have Tom's baby? Her career? Maybe. But I think it's because Tom wouldn't donate his seed to a non-clear nutball. I think Katie will (for now) completely embrace Scientology and that Tom will think the spawn of two upper-level 'tologists will make an exceptional person and that he digs that on some ego-tastic level.

[IssieCol]

I'm going to embarrassedly admit that my immediate thought when I read this news was that the J tried to stage an intervention by nailing her, resulting in the forthcoming Spawn

As long as I'm around, you'll never be alone in this thought. It does make that whole, "I care deeply, but I can't talk about it" spiel from the J much more interesting for me though.

ITA that Tiny would never willingly make babies with a non-clam. NK was far too independent of the cult even though she pretended well enough that she was into it while they were together.

KH's parents were (of course) contacted by the press and they refused to say anything They wouldn't even say they were happy for their own daughter or that they hoped her kid was healthy. Nada. Muy interesante.

[isadora]

My guess is that The Holmes's were keeping quiet because (a.) it was the first they'd heard of it and (b.) they were hoping it was a false alarm (like Demi's constant pregnancy and the newlyweds continual plans for divorce).

[deux]

Wasn't it only about 3 months ago KH was claiming she's a virgin saving herself for marriage?

My other leg plays jingle bells.

[isadora]

You have to be brainwashed to go along with this nonsense:
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/gossip/story/353012p-300956c.html


Quit yellin', it's
only childbirth

Katie Holmes' mission impossible will be giving birth without painkillers - or screaming. That's because her fiancé, "Mission Impossible" star Tom Cruise, is a Scientologist.

Practitioners of Scientology are against drugs but insist on "silent birth" because they believe it's traumatic for babies to hear their mothers groan or cry.

"Maintain silence in the presence of birth to save the sanity of the mother and the child and safeguard the home to which they will go," church founder L. Ron Hubbard wrote in his best-selling "Dianetics."

That's easier to preach than practice.

Another famous Scientologist, actress Kelly Preston, told Redbook magazine in 2000 that she screamed for an epidural while giving birth at home to daughter Ella.

But her husband, actor John Travolta, who is also a Scientologist, didn't have time to drive Preston to the hospital.

"It got hard-core at the end because she was big," Preston said of her 13-hour ordeal.

Travolta later described it as a "beautiful, still experience that lovingly brings a child into the world without screaming or talking."

Of course, he didn't have the baby.

Scientologists also favor seven days of silence for newborns so their first week on Earth is trauma-free. But this has run afoul of state-mandated blood tests, which require at least a pinprick.

Corky Siemaszko



I love this story because it adds credence to my no babies with Nicole theory.

[Res]

I like that there's bets on if she'll name the baby Joey or Pacey! (http://www.paddypower.com/bet?action=show_type_by_main_market&category=SPECIAL&ev_class_id=91&id=6231)

Don't care if it's a silet birth but I sure as hell hope she doesn't suffer Post-partum Depression.

[soccergirl]

Hee. I would love it if it were named Iceman or Goose.

[jennk]

Oh yeah, like she's going to have a say in the baby's name.

This shit is nuts. I won't even believe she's actually pregnant until she starts showing. Their whole relationship makes me uncomfortable.

[Ginni]

It disturbs me that Dawson's better odds than Pacey. And of course, it disturbs me that it disturbs me.

[Res]

You knew this (http://celebritybabies.typepad.com) was coming, didn't you.

Also a recent pick of MW if you scroll down.

[Herman]

Actually if it's true that those scientology wives do give silent births, it would be very cool if you guys take it as a challenge for yourself, because that would look amazing on your child birth video.

Even better if you can restraint yourself from scrunching your face, so you're going to look pretty on the video. So let's try it! Any of you pregnant right now? Snick?

[rathmel]

I think this is official proof the girl has lost her mind.

[isadora]

I have a new theory that at some point in the (possibly distant) future, Katie will freak out. At some point the conservative Catholic child deep in her subconcious will reject Xenu. You don't learn about Xenu until you get to OTIII (IIRC) and that is the point where the clams lose a lot of people because you have to make the crazy commitment or back out of the room slowly with your hands raised up in front of you.

I came to this conclusion by reading Radar Magazine's Tom Cruise article, highlighting his relationship with the clams. (http://www.radaronline.com/magazine/features/2005/08/the-passion-of-tom-cruise-excerpt.php) I don't know Katie from Adam but I *feel* she will come to realize she's made a crazy-ass mistake. Or she'll just be a fluffy bunny of clamville forevah.

My favorite part of the article was how the Scientology church head would put on elaborate scenarios for Tom and Nicole and Tom would never know they were solely for his nutty use (like his vision of he and Nicole running through a field together -- bwah!). I read it at the book store today so I have no idea if that is in the excerpt. But it's worth checking out. Funny stuff.

[IssieCol]

I thought the clams toned down all the alien stuff for the celeb worshippers so that they wouldn't get freaked out and leave. I didn't know they still told them about Xenu that early on.

My sis and I were talking about it at lunch the other day with our mom and my sister is going with the brainwashing theory. I vacillate between that and the famewhore extraordinaire who signed the contract theory. I guess it could be a combo of the two, like she started out agreeing to the contract to get to the A list, but then got brainwashed early on because she was vulnerable and naive and very, very dumb.

[NeoMaxy]

I feel Katie will let herself be artificially inseminated with the frozen sperm of L. Ron Hubbard and claim it's Tom's baby until it's old enough to attempt to take over da wooooorld if it means she can be famous.

Or at least have a more famous illegitmate pregnancy than Michelle!

I also agree with Issie that homegirl is just very, very dumb.

ETA: Jeebus, those pictures of her on the baseball field make her look about five months pregnant. Especially for a scrawny girl.

[isadora]

I am curious how far along she is. Verrray curious!

And why would they feel the need to announce it? They just seem so desperate for attention.

But I can't complain because TomKat is the gift that just keeps on giving!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9546108/

Katie's dad is furious:

MSNBC.com
Katie’s dad furious about shotgun wedding
Plus: Mouthy reporter irritates Sarah Jessica Parker

By Jeannette Walls
MSNBC
Updated: 2:58 a.m. ET Oct. 12, 2005


Tom Cruise’s future father-in-law apparently isn’t a happy camper.

Katie Holmes’s dad is said to be “very upset” because his unmarried daughter is pregnant with Cruise’s child. And, what’s more, the devoutly Catholic Martin Holmes reportedly is none-too-thrilled about his daughter’s involvement in her husband-to-be’s controversial religion, Scientology.

“[Martin Holmes] was very upset and got into a real spat with Katie,” the forthcoming issue of Life & Style Weekly quotes “a close friend” of Cruise as saying. “Tom had promised her parents that they would do the right thing and get married before any baby came along.” After scolding his daughter, according to the mag, Martin Holmes berated Cruise by declaring “You’re no good.”

“He said he and his wife were very upset by the news,” according to the source, “and demanded the pair get married quickly.”

Furthermore, a member of Christ the King Church, which the Holmes family belongs to, told L&S that Cruise and Holmes’ publicist, his sister Lee Anne DeVette, sent a letter to parishioners, asking them not to talk to reporters. Although a family friend told the mag that the Holmes family is thrilled by the news of a grandchild, they’re also concerned.

“It seemed like Katie was being controlled by Scientologists,” the friend told L&S. “Now they wonder if it’s a Rosemary’s Baby situation, where Katie is being groomed to provide Tom with a child.”

DeVette didn’t respond to The Scoop’s repeated requests for comment.

[IssieCol]

"You're no good!" Bwah! What a burn, Marty.

[NeoMaxy]

Ooh a new blind item is insinuating that sweet l'il ol' virginal Katie got knocked up earlier this year by someone in the UK and the whole Tom thing was quickly manufactured to cover it up while stimulating both careers and making Tom look fertile and straight.

*waits for the RLTL posts to begin* When was the J in the UK again? Hee.

[Res]

Originally posted by NeoMaxy
Ooh a new blind item is insinuating that sweet l'il ol' virginal Katie got knocked up earlier this year by someone in the UK and the whole Tom thing was quickly manufactured to cover it up while stimulating both careers and making Tom look fertile and straight.

Whee! I was wondering how long this one would take.
I think J was there until late April/early May.
OTOH - perhaps Jude Law had a few free minutes to do the deed while travelling between the nanny and Sienna.

[IssieCol]

Well, if the baby comes out of her ass, we'll know for sure who the daddy is.

[vanessa]

I saw these pictures (http://justjared.blogspot.com/2005/10/katie-holmes-pregnant.html) and the first thing I thought was that she didn't look only 3 months pregnant to me. No way. So that fits, if she was pregnant earlier.

[deux]

I saw an ad on TV for a gossip mag where they showed that photo. Not that they're OBs, but they're betting on 5 months.

Oh how I'd giggle if the baby has blonde or red hair or, funnier still, a different skin colour!

[isadora]

Chris Klein is "out and about" -- I guess.

http://www.ananova.com/entertainment/story/sm_1576725.html

Katie's Ex Speaks Out

Romance, engagement, a baby on the way... Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise can't seem to keep away from the spotlight.

But spare a thought for those left behind...

Katie's former fiance Chris Klein could be forgiven for being slightly green about her new happiness.

Rumour is the former lovers haven't spoken since they broke off their engagement in March this year - after a five year romance.

Chris told Details magazine: "We grew up. The fantasy was over, and reality set in. We weren't lighting each other's fires anymore."

But dont feel too sorry for the 26-year-old American Pie star.

"I'm not lonely. I'll tell you that, I'm certainly not crying myself to sleep at night, sucking my thumb. No dude, I'm out and about."



No, dude, we're not worried about you! You have that American Pie franchise to keep you warm!

[isadora]

I can't get enough TomKat, I tell you!

A Kidman scorned: It was only a matter of time until these sorts of stories started coming out, depicting a "distraught" Nicole Kidman reeling from the announcement of the forthcoming baby TomKat. A friend tells the U.K.'s Grazia magazine: "Nicole can't believe it's happening. It was so sudden she shut down. Obviously she must still have feelings for Tom, she's been crying and has been really upset." The implication is that there will be a mothering battle somewhere down the line between Katie and Nicole: "This baby means Katie Holmes will be in Tom's life forever. Nicole always cherished the special bond adopting gave her and Tom. Now he will share that bond with Katie." (FemaleFirst)

Aww. Poor Nic! She didn't realize Tom wouldn't impregnant her because she wouldn't give him a clam baby! *sniff*

[isadora]

Katie's dad is taking the prenup seriously because he's sure the marriage is doomed to fail - hee!

from MSNBC:

Will Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have a prenup?

Sources say they will, and according to one report, that’s why Cruise and his preggers fiancée are taking so long to get hitched. Holmes’s father, Martin, is a lawyer and is representing his daughter in the negotiations, reports the upcoming issue of The Star.

Martin Holmes “is playing hardball with the prenup negotiations,” according to the tab, which quotes a source as saying that Holmes wants to make sure that his daughter will receive “a lump sum payment in the millions if the marriage should dissolve before the five-year mark.”

Such terms are unusual for a prenup, which usually awards a spouse more money for a longer marriage, but, the source tells the mag: “The Holmes family would never tell Katie if they thought her marriage was doomed from the get-go, but they are pressuring her to hold out not only to protect her interests, but those of her child.”

Holmes and Cruise’s rep didn’t return calls for comment, but noted divorce attorney Raoul Felder told The Scoop, “Given Tom’s history, if they don’t have a prenup, forget a lawyer, they need psychiatrists.”


But Tom wouldn't let them get psychiatrists!

[isadora]

I'm going to pretend I'm just collecting clippings for the quickie celebrity insider book I'm writing:

From people:
http://people.aol.com/people/articles/0,19736,1125325,00.html


Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes may be expectant parents, but that doesn't yet translate to quiet nights home, PEOPLE reports in its latest issue.

During a weekend charity dinner at Scientology’s English headquarters, St. Hill Manor in East Grinstead, "they were very sweet – holding hands and looking very cuddly," says one guest. "They looked like they were having a laugh."

At one point during the $350-a-plate dinner, singer Isaac Hayes, a fellow Scientologist, called Cruise, 43, and Holmes, 26, to the stage, where they belted out rock standards with the band. On their song list? "Mustang Sally" and "Old Time Rock and Roll," which Cruise famously sang in his underwear in 1983's Risky Business.

"They were laughing and smiling and talking to the crowd," said one of the 3,000 guests. "The crowd started dancing."

Earlier at the event, Cruise accepted an award for service to Scientology to thunderous applause. The actor left with Holmes shortly after the festivities.

Last month the engaged couple announced they were expecting their first child together. "Tom and Katie are very excited, and the entire family is very excited," Cruise's spokeswoman, Lee Anne DeVette, told PEOPLE.

DeVette said at the time that no wedding date has been set and would not comment on how far along the pregnancy is. But she did say that Holmes "has never felt better."



And who doesn't love to listen to Katie sing?

[isadora]

Damn! That party may be ovah:
From defamer:

Tom Cruise Fires Publisister
READ MORE: Publicists, Tom Cruise
After an almost unprecedented run of bad press and public relations blunders, including, but not limited to, the botched announcement of his relationship with, sudden engagement to, and suspicious premarital knocking-up of Katie Holmes, a full-on assault against the pseudoscience of psychiatry and the dangerous street drugs its nefarious agents push on children and celebrities with the “baby blues,” and the co-opting of the War of the Worlds press tour as a platform to celebrate the aforementioned relationship and anti-psychiatry assault, Tom Cruise has finally thrown publisister LeAnne DeVette under the couch, replacing her with professional PR firm Rogers and Cowan. (Come on, did you think Cruise was going to go crawling back to Pat Kingsley?) Variety reports on DeVette’s new role on Team Cruise:

“Lee Anne has done a wonderful job on behalf of myself and Cruise-Wagner Prods. over the last few years,” Cruise said in a statement. “But she has always expressed a desire to oversee and expand the day-to-day activities of my charitable endeavors. With our current plans to increase those endeavors, and Cruise-Wagner’s increased production slate of film and television projects, this seemed the appropriate time to make that segue and bring Rogers and Cowan on board to handle mine and the company’s entertainment-related publicity needs.”

DeVette said: “I know how important Tom’s charitable goals are to him, and I look forward to assisting in raising the profile of the good works that he does on behalf of children’s health issues, mentoring, literacy and other social reforms, as well as the general betterment of the human condition.”


Say what you will about DeVette’s tenure [ruining] running Cruise’s PR machine, but she certainly was successful in raising her brother’s profile. Under her skilled stewardship, “the general betterment of the human condition” should become the laughingstock of the media in a mere two to three months.

[NeoMaxy]

I'm just trying not to bristle at the misuse of a reflexive pronoun in an official press release.

[isadora]

In addition to the miscarriage rumors -- seriously? These two freak me out so much! -- we have a revealing information from a recent Chris Klein interview that explains so much about Katie and her weird-ass shit!


Sweetfaced Chris Klein, who just two posts ago was mingling among movie premiere commonfolk with a weird-looking Suzanne Somers lookalike on his arm, on the surface comes across like the world’s WASPiest mensch. Not so, it would appear, as an interview with Elle has revealed Katie Holmes’ ex to be nothing short of a boorish, despicable cad!
----------------
Chris, 26, a self-described “alpha heterosexual” who only dates “8 to 10’s,” also reveals how displeased he is if a woman he’s seeing gains a few pounds.

“I’m not tolerant of that at all,” declares the actor, who says he has no problem telling his swollen squeeze to shape up.

“When a woman isn’t feeling good about herself and you combine that with her period, eventually she’ll ask you if you like her body,” he pontificates. “You have to say no.”[…]

As for his romance with Holmes, Klein reveals they “had an absolute ball, but we grew up.” He insists they’re still friends even though they don’t talk, [though] he doesn’t keep up with her “amazing” Cruise coupling…
------------------
It seems the only time Klein is able to censor the running jackass commentary in his mind is when the topic of his ex’s new relationship comes up; as soon as the subject is broached, as if under the influence of some mysterious, possibly threatening outside force, Klein becomes magically tight-lipped about Katie, Tom, and the little lizard V baby they have on the way. It’s amazing what a few weeks handcuffed to the Reeducation Radiator, with nothing to eat but pistachio shells and one’s own body hair, does for a guy’s opinion of his ex’s new man.


He's a beautiful person.

And this so explains Katie to me! If she is able to tolerate this jackass and his bullshit then OF COURSE Tom Cruise seems like a great guy to have control her every move!

What the fuck kind of bad boyfriend does that make The Dirty J? The cheating, lying kind, I'm sure. Jebus Christmas. I'm actually feeling bad for Katie Holmes in spite of all she has (wealth, fame, beauty, herpes). Eh, I'd rather be lacking in the wealth, fame, beauty and herpes than be stuck watching soccer games with Cruise's little "beautiful human beings!"

[IssieCol]

Latest gossip: He bought her her own plane so that she can visit him and/or her folks whenever she wants. This tells me many things in my sleep deprived state. He's willing to spend serious money to keep her away from him while he's fucking around on her, he doesn't want to go when she visits her fam and I can't really blame him here 'cause who would voluntarily spend time in Toledo if you didn't have to, and he doesn't want her to travel with him on his jet when he goes off on location. Hmm, I feel trouble is afoot.

[deux]

<-- jumping on the bandwagon

From Ireland On-line (http://breakingnews.iol.ie/entertainment/story.asp?j=163251204&p=y63z5y9yx):
Holmes thrown out of cinema
21/11/2005 - 11:10:03

Katie Holmes was thrown out of a California cinema when a vibrating gadget she was clutching disturbed fellow film fans.

The fiancee of superstar Tom Cruise was holding a buzzing aid against her pregnant stomach, as she believes it is comforting to the foetus.

But it failed to soothe the nerves of audience members, who quickly tired of the humming device.

A witness says: "People didn't care that she was a star, they just wanted to see the movie."I swear if I were still a foetus I'd think that was like Chinese water torture.

ETA:
Chris, 26, a self-described “alpha heterosexual” who only dates “8 to 10’s,” also reveals how displeased he is if a woman he’s seeing gains a few pounds.Perhaps his second job is checking the dancers' gains at the Moulin Rouge.

[isadora]

So, the sex of the spawn is supposedly a boy and will be named William Oscar. And, from the latest reports, Katie is more like six months along than just three or four. Which means she got pregnant the night they met or something? Didn't they just meet in April?

[roly]

If memory serves, the first pics of them surfaced in late April, so it would appear they were together a month at most when she got knocked.

[NeoMaxy]

I guess Tom figured out that he can't earn an Oscar, so he went and made his own.

Where is Katie's intervention? Where.

[IssieCol]

Smoking pot and ass fucking some random soon-to-be herpes recipient.

[rathmel]

Will Cruise? Billy Cruise? Ugh.

Regardless, the timing is suspicious. Hee.

[isadora]

It took me a few seconds to fully understand this photo (http://people.aol.com/people/galleries/0,19884,1141767,00.html) but I believe Tom is giving "Kate" an "assist" by actually holding Katie's hair back while she blows out her candles on her 27th birthday -- celebrated after hours at FAO Schwarz. Now, a 27th birthday party at FAO is a little weird (after hours, even weirder) but holding her pony tail back so she - what? Doesn't catch fire? -- is so bizarre I'm not even sure where to put it.

[snickerdoodle]

I'm so creeped out by a 27 year old having a birthday party at FAO Schwartz, I don't know where to begin.

<------- has been to 2 private parties there with the snicklet's friends, both of whom were well under the age of 27.

[IssieCol]

They were probably under the age of 2 + 7, which makes KH's party all the sadder and creepier. The hair grabbing picture gives me the shivers. He's all tight-fisted like, "Who's your Clam Daddy, bitch?" and it looks like he's about to smash her face first into those fiery cupcakes. People had videos of the party up on their site and her parents and sisters were there to watch him do that to her and they didn't do anything. What a weirdo family. No wonder they spawned such a weirdo daughter.

[isadora]

Maybe I'm just cynical but the idea that all these sites seem to have extensive footage of the party is suspect. I mean, if we couldn't get pictures of Bennifer or Brangelina in such supposedly private moments then how come Tom Cruise has some poor publicity control?

[Res]

Those are some very strange pics - - especially considering that he fired his sister and has a new publicist (or whatever it is). Apparently he can't control Cruise very well for very long, either.
Camp Clam must be trying to make it look like the pics are from someone's cellphone or were secretly taken but you know the whole thing was just a photo-op.

Yeah - the hair thing is creepy but for some reason her sweater disturbs me more.

[isadora]

I'm sure it's just a coincidence that Tom & Kate have a new PR firm working for them and the first story of the new year about them is how - no, really! -- Katie is coming into her own in this new relationship!

Of course, in the less PR-machine friendly rags, there is talk that Katie isn't take charge so much as she is tired of taking crap from Tom and clams. Pregnancy makes her cranky, I guess!

[Res]

New Year's (http://conversationsfamouspeople.blogspot.com/2006/01/tom-is-in-control-of-katies-mind-and.html#comments) rumours!

[isadora]

OMG! That photo makes it look like she could fit his entire peanut head in her mouth! Weird!

Why are her expressions always so over the top these days? Didn't she used to be sort squirrely and anxious in public?

[NeoMaxy]

Why do they wear sunglasses indoors?

Tom claims their looooooovebaby is due in May. I call shenanigans because she looks about six or maybe seven months these days.

My guess is that it will be born in March, on the Beek's birthday and be "extremely premature." Or on April first, hee.

[rathmel]

Did y'all read that story about how there was a big throw-down between Katie's dad and Tom during Christmas at Katie's parents', and how she ended up in tears, and she and Tom left three days early and flew away in their private plane? Guess the intervention wasn't terribly effective.

It's like a train wreck. I can't stop watching. Baby due in May? Bwah!

[isadora]

Perez Hilton is outraged that Tom is taking pregnant fiance Katie out on his motorcycle to go to dinner. (http://www.perezhilton.com/topics/tomkat/tom_cruise_wants_to_kill_his_unborn_child_20060114 .php)

The comments note the size of her 'bump' keeps changing from outfit to outfit and they doubt her pregnancy outright.

Someone named Mandy is sick of hearing her about Tom & Katie but liked Katie in her DC days. Dunno if it's our Mandy. Not exactly a rare name.

Of course, I'm not one to defend TomKat but I just think people are *really* judgemental about what pregnant women do with their free time. If Katie was very active before (being a bulimic running freak, she probably was) why is it wrong to get on a motorcycle or go ice skating?

Much more amusing to me is the poster that questions how Tom got so damn tall all of a sudden! Bwah! It's true. Katie is a good 5 inches taller than he is, right? And in all the latest pics they are about the same height and in some he is taller than she is! :rollin:

[IssieCol]

I just think people are *really* judgemental about what pregnant women do with their free time.

I think folks are doubting the pregnancy and are using her seemingly careless actions as evidence to prove that she's not really pregnant. I do think some of the things she's done have been a bit reckless. She was a chronic exerciser prior to her insemination, but so am I and I wouldn't go ice skating in the rain/sleet which is what she did. I would also probably not go on a snowmobile up a mountain or ride a motorcycle while 7-8 months pregnant, but that's just a comfort issue for me. I'd be bitching the whole time about how I can't find the right position to sit in and can we please just go home now so that I can sit on my ass and eat ice cream?

[isadora]

I guess that depends on if you believe the party line -- is she due in May? Or is she farther along? Or is she pregnant at all?

If she's due in May that puts her at roughly 5-6 months pregnant.

[IssieCol]

No one believes the party line (well, at least no one outside of the Katie board on MB). If she's only 5-6 months along, then that means that she was only 3-4 months along when this (http://www.katieholmespictures.com/gallery/displayimage.php?album=979&pos=41) was taken. For such a tall, skinny girl to protrude that much at 3-4 months is damn near impossible.

The folks that do believe she's pregnant seem to think they'll play it off as a preemie and hide it away until May when they can trot the tot out for as many famewhorish photo ops as possible right before MI3 premieres.

[isadora]

More disturbing than TomKat is Liz Taylor as a crazy Midwestern Granny that everybody laughs uncomfortably around when she says inappropriate things about her marriages and long gone youth:
Wow! (http://www.katieholmespictures.com/gallery/displayimage.php?album=979&pos=24) That pains me. Deeply.

I honestly don't know because I know so little about pregnancy that I have no room to talk about shit.

[isadora]

I shall continue to TomKat until I can TomKat no more:

From defamer, a few days back:

Lost in the commotion of yesterday’s wall-to-wall Golden Globes coverage was this rare reader sighting of a seemingly unsupervised, visibly pregnant Katie Holmes grabbing some alone time at a local coffee shop:

"[1/17] Just saw Katie Holmes at the new Peet’s Coffee across from Book Soup. She was wearing a nasty ugly purple Juicy Couture sweatsuit (man, isn’t that over yet?) and she looked depressed and frankly, awful - also, quite big with the Cruise fetus. No handlers to be seen. As far as I could monitor, she was chock full of thetans.
I know “having sympathy” for celebrities is out…but I truly felt sorry for her. She looked depressed and a little trapped."

Had our hearts not long ago ossified for a split-second before disappearing in a whiff of cardiac dust, we might try and sympathize with Holmes’ plight. Heavy with improbable child and haunting Sunset Strip coffee chains, she’s certainly allowed no more than a few moments of visible melancholy before alarms in the van parked curbside are sounded, sending a flood of “best friends” into the shop to spirit her away before a single tear hits the floor. And while being the contractually obligated birthing partner of the world’s biggest movie star seems glamorous, not even the constant gifts of her betrothed’s back catalog or designer maternity wear are much of a substitute for a good cry.


Aww. Even I'm starting to feel bad for her! Weird.

[NeoMaxy]

Only six months pregnant? Pfft. (http://www.defamer.com/hollywood/katie-holmes/hollywood-privacywatch-special-edition-sympathy-for-the-fiancee-part-ii-small-change-152433.php)

I cannot WAIT to read this kid's tell-all book in about 14 years.

[isadora]

She got the herp on her lip again. Can't Scientologists use Abreve or Abreva or whatever it's called?

That photo is SO upsetting. Who wears a body suit while pregnant? How hard is that to snap at the crotch? How annoying would that be?

She confuddles me.

[deux]

OMB. I've never seen anything like that! She definitely caught an episode of Kath & Kim and thought Kimmay looked noice.

[NeoMaxy]

Remember when pregnant women thought it was a bad idea to drink giant lattes? Every photo of her has a giant Starbucks cup in it. She's practically Bennifer2 in her caffeine addiction.

Maybe that bodysuit is holding down a fake belly? Why can't she just buy some damn maternity clothes that button all the way down? I'm very confused.

[isadora]

Due in May? (http://www.defamer.com/hollywood/tom-cruise/cruise-and-holmes-still-together-and-as-uncomfortable-as-ever-155312.php)

[ophy]

Seriously, what the hell is that thing? At this rate, god only knows what kind of monster will burst forth.

I'm so tired of feeling equal parts sad and disgusted by this situation. I want to have a new emotional reaction, damnit!

[isadora]

Okay, my guess is the mutant is already born. I mean how many days can we go on in this "any day now" world? She's in hiding and he's in Germany. It's VERY strange. I find it hard to believe Tiny Tom wouldn't be present for the birth. Or that he would travel to Europe the week his savior is born.

[ophy]

http://people.aol.com/people/articles/0,19736,1179430,00.html


As for marriage, he said they would tie the knot over the summer. "First the baby, then the film," he was quoted as saying by the Associated Press. "Then, in summer, we want to get married. I won't let this woman get away."

*shudder*

Although you do have to admire how upfront he is about her prisoner status.

[Herman]

Hopefully the first question the press ask her will be about how she feels giving birth without sedatives. Or maybe they ask Tom, the one who knows better.

Anyway, baby pictures please, as soon as they're available.

[isadora]

Oh, TomKat! How you hold me in your evil grasp!



Tom Cruise may have found a way to keep Katie Holmes from violating the precepts of Scientology and shrieking in pain when she gives birth to their child.
It's a specially crafted adult pacifier, reports Star magazine.

"He commissioned an adult-sized 'binky' for her to clench between her teeth, hoping that it'll squelch her screams," a source tells the mag. "In keeping with a Scientology silent birth, Tom is prepared to do whatever it takes to muffle Katie's moans and groans during the delivery."

Cruise's PR rep, Arnold Robinson, denied the existence of an adult pacifier. As for its manufacture, a spokeswoman for NYU's School of Dentistry told Lowdown: "We haven't heard of it, but it doesn't mean a dentist wouldn't do it."

Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard, who died in 1986, discouraged painkillers during delivery and preached that birth should be silent to "save both the sanity of the mother and the child and safeguard the home to which they will go." The Scientology.org Web site explains: "Having a quiet, gentle birth is all about providing the best possible environment for the birthing mother and her new baby."

The alleged pacifier, which is reportedly made of plastic and molded to perfectly fit the 27-year-old Katie's mouth, could be deployed very soon. Cruise recently told a German television interviewer: "Katie could be having our baby at any minute."

And the 43-year-old Cruise - who three years ago spent several months wearing braces - likely knows a friendly orthodontist who could help get such a contraption made.

Star also reports that Holmes - with Scientology minder Jessica Rodriguez often at her side - has been spending long days at the Celebrity Centre in Hollywood and is under pressure to renounce her Catholic upbringing and fully embrace Scientology.

Link. (http://www.nydailynews.com/news/gossip/story/406008p-343805c.html)

Tom is also doing a soul-baring interview in Parade magazine that sounds delish. He dishes about his sad childhood and his shittay dad:


Tom Cruise's Revealing New Interview

April 4, 2006

As superstar TOM CRUISE awaits the arrival of both his first child with bride-to-be KATIE HOLMES as well as his highly anticipated blockbuster flick 'Mission: Impossible III,' he gets candid about his dyslexia, his volatile relationship with his father and his own childhood.

"I had no really close friend," he reveals in the April 9th edition of Parade magazine. "I was always the new kid with the wrong shoes, the wrong accent. I didn't have the friend to share things with and confide in."

Tom reveals that his father was also someone he was unable to turn to. "He was a bully and a coward," he says frankly. "He was the person where, if something goes wrong, they kick you."

The headline-making celebrity says the poor treatment actually taught him a lot. "It was a great lesson in my life -- how he'd lull you in, make you feel safe and then, bang!" he says. "For me it was like, 'There's something wrong with this guy. Don't trust him. Be careful around him.' There's that anxiety."

Despite their tumultuous relationship, Tom says he did see his father one last time -- after a 10-year estrangement -- while he was terminally ill. "He was in the hospital dying of cancer, and he would only meet me on the basis that I didn't ask him anything about the past," he says. "When I saw him in pain, I thought, 'What a lonely life.' He was in his late 40s. It was sad."

The A-lister also opens up about his battle with dyslexia and recalls how perplexing it was for him to receive the diagnosis.

"The school took me to a psychiatrist to get tested," he says. "They said, 'Oh, he's dyslexic.' I'm labeled. It instantly put me into confusion. It was an absolute affront to my dignity."

It made him determined to get to the bottom of the condition. "I remember thinking, 'I've got to figure this out. What's normal? Am I normal? Who's to say what's normal?' I didn't understand what 'normal' is. It still doesn't make sense."


link (http://et.tv.yahoo.com/celebrities/14353/index.html)

[roly]

"They said, 'Oh, he's dyslexic.' I'm labeled."
No, you fucktard. You're diagnosed. Christ on a cracker, I hate this guy.

Also, I rillyrillyrilly hope the adult pacifier story is true.

[BreezyK]

Is she even really pregnant? (http://www.defamer.com/hollywood/katie-holmes/katie-holmes-anatomy-of-a-fake-pregnancy-165400.php)

I'm not sure if she is or isn't, but that picture is SO weird. I tend to go with Is on this one and think she already had the baby and they're waiting to trot it out at the best famewhoring moment.

[ophy]

That's like, the most bizarre pic yet. Shouldn't she at least have pregnancy boobs? Even fake pregnancy boobs? They are doing a truly crappy job of faking this. Apparently, the clams are less efficient than they would like one to believe.

[snickerdoodle]

She looks like she's been shoplifting.

[ophy]

So her parents are fine with seeing Katie renounce her Catholicism? uh huh.

There are other nice tidbits in here, too.
http://www.eonline.com/News/Items/0,1,18799,00.html


Oh, and he made a pretty nifty joke about eating the placenta. (Really, it was funny.)

oooookay.

[jaritos]

Something to look forward to on the Primetime interview (from People (http://people.aol.com/people/articles/0,19736,1183803,00.html)):



As for what attracted him to Holmes in the first place, Cruise says: "Her smile drives me crazy in a good way. She has this thing that she does with her tongue when she smiles. When she's really laughing when her tongue sticks out … and it's the cutest thing."

I love it - the Joey Potter tongue smile had him at hello.

[isadora]

When Josh starts dating an A-lister she'll go on about his ass in certain types of pants, the way he drinks a can of Coke and how he jumps over furniture in a very "Josh" way! Those Josh-isms!

[Herman]

If the A-lister is 50 years old, then yes.

[ophy]

Bwaahh! (http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/go_fug_yourself/2006/04/fug.html)


Years later, it is revealed that -- with the help of a sympathetic Scientologist on the inside [Veronica Mars's Jason Dohring] -- Katie's parents, Joshua Jackson, Kevin Williamson, and Michelle Williams and Heath Ledger staged a dramatic kidnapping at Cruise's headquarters, spiriting Katie away to a small town in Ledger's native Australia where she lived out the rest of her life under the pseudonym Josephine Witter. It is also revealed that an attempt to kidnap the baby was thwarted when Dohring and John Travolta quarreled over the last jelly donut at the Celebrity Centre and Dohring was rendered persona non grata at Casa Cruise in solidarity, thus removing the team's access. Not surprising.

[roly]

The spawn is officially here. (http://news.yahoo.com/s/eo/20060418/en_celeb_eo/18827)

[IssieCol]

Her poor folks. They just must be dying about the fact that their baby is now officially tied to crazy TC 4evah and that their grandkid has some totally weird, Hebrew name that they'll have to explain to their uber-Catholic friends for the rest of their lives.

[isadora]

What's in A Name?



· FoxNews.com points out Suri could be a derivation of Sarah, through the use of Kabbalistic word mathematics. Could Hollywood corporate merger fever have finally struck its two greatest celebrity mindsucking sects? E-meters connected with bright red wiring could be rolling off the production lines as we speak.

· Filmstew makes the following fascinating linguistic observation: "Suri Cruise = Syracuse." i.e., Tom's New York state birthplace. On that logic, little Suri should be thankful her fake sire didn't hail from central Mexico, saddling her with the permanently unfashionable "Vera."

· PerezHilton.com notes L. Ron Hubbard's former home and Scientology's UK headquarters is located in Surrey, England. Tom's first choice, "Birthplace of Our Leader" Cruise (or just "Birthy" for short) was quickly nixed by the mother.

· Tabloid Baby's research turns up only two instances of the name: as a type of alpaca, and a couple home pages of guys from India.

· My Name Is Suri: An ancient Buddhic lesson about Karmic retribution cites two brothers, one named Handoku and the other--you guessed it--Suri. According to legend, "Suri is the name of the village idiot who attained enlightenment because of his stupidity. He was so stupid he forgot his own name."

· The London Times notes in Japanese, suri means "pickpocket."


Research those wacky baby names, people! RESEARCH!

[rathmel]

I really didn't think I could feel worse about this, but man. I'm with you, Issie. I just feel bad for her folks.

[isadora]

http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/2006/05/08/katie_holmes_wears_a_nursing_b.html

So, she's come out of a hiding for the premiere of MI3 and yet? She looks SO WEIRD. Didn't she used to be reasonable put-together? I mean, some of her outfits were ass (like that hideous table cloth she wore to the upfronts that last Creek year) but the woman loves fashion week, people! What in hell has happened to her? HOW can you be dating one of the biggest of the big A-listers and not look amazing? I mean, she has every means of pampering at her disposal and she probably could have had a pedicure within 15 minutes of giving birth, let alone a personal hairdresser, and yet she's wandering around looking pasty with dark circles under her eyes topped with assy hair and her nursing bra showing?

I don't get it.

[Herman]

Her hair kills me. :rollin:

But her face is really a sad thing. Hopefully it's just an unfortunate moment of facial expression and she isn't exactly deforming.

Tom looks particularly hot though. I usually find him meh.

[isadora]

It turns out she did have the baby:
http://www.perezhilton.com/topics/caption_me/caption_me_alien_stretch_marks_20060516.php

NICE stretch marks. Holy cow! Genetics are unkind, y'all! Some skin just doesn't bounce back!

She'll have to get that stuff fixed.

[ophy]

Well, she had *something* I guess. Not necessarily, you know, what we would normally consider a baby. Sorry, I'm just not quite ready to let go of the faked alien pregnancy concept yet.

[isadora]

Aww! Now I even feel bad for Kate's parents:


Katie's Parents Had to Wait

Forget whatever it was Tom Cruise told Diane Sawyer about his relationship with Katie Holmes' parents.

The truth is, Katie's parents, Martin and Kathleen Holmes, didn’t get to see baby Suri up close and personal until the day of the "Mission: Impossible 3" premiere in Los Angeles.

That would have been May 4. Suri was born in the late afternoon on April 17.

You do the math, fans. That's two and a half weeks. The Holmeses were specifically not invited until Tom was back home in Los Angeles after his worldwide promotional tour and could monitor the baby’s first visit with her maternal grandparents.

Tom’s mother, Mary Jo Mapother-South, was there for the delivery. So were Tom’s sisters. But, as widely reported, the Holmeses were at their vacation home in Florida when they got the news that their daughter had given birth to their first grandchild.

“They are heartbroken,” says the source who filled me in on this, and this person knows what they’re talking about.

But no one who’s interviewed Cruise for "M:I:3" has dared asked these questions.

Instead, they’ve let Cruise refer to Katie as “Kate” and do all the talking for her. The Holmeses are scared to speak out, say friends, for fear that they will be cut off even more from Katie and Suri.

It’s not like the public hasn’t sensed something is wrong with all this. The result has been an enormous backlash against Cruise.

Yesterday’s box office numbers for "M: I3" were even lower than the day before. The movie took in a mere $2,783,719 on Wednesday, down 13 percent from Tuesday’s $3,204,660, according to boxofficemojo.com.

This is a big problem, since "M: I3" is playing in 4,000 theatres, one of the widest releases ever for a feature film.

At this point, if tonight’s numbers aren’t much, much better, "M: I3" will begin to self-destruct.

If you’re looking for context here, compare "M:I3" to "Spider-Man 2," a movie that played in a comparable number of theaters. On the first Tuesday and Wednesday after its weekend debut, "Spider-Man 2" took in, respectively, $10 million and $9 million. "M: I3" is very far off that track.

Source (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,195180,00.html)

I actually think the backlash and the box office are unrelated. I think the fact that MI2 was a stinky pile of poo that left nobody caring was a big factor, too.

[Res]

I hate to say it but what the hell did they expect after pimping their daughter for, what was it, $40million?

He wouldn't let them visit when he was out on the promo trail because who knows what kind of pagan anti-Scientology thing they would have done over their grand-daughter. Something wierd, no doubt, like thanking God or praying.

[Ginni]

They pimped with the what now? What am I not remembering?

Oh - is that the suspected deal that was made with the Clams?

Still going to see MI3 - for the stunts alone. But I'm not rushing.

[NeoMaxy]

Everyone I know said they didn't want to see MIIIIIIII because they thought Tom was a freak. Just sayin'.

I think Katie actually had that baby back in February and has been pretending the last two months in order not to look like more of a giant whore that got knocked up by some random guy in Europe and then inked a deal with Tommy in order to make him look hetero and fertile. Those last photos of her look like she had a fake belly strapped on.

I also think she had cheek implants on the day Suri was supposedly born. Her face is just odd looking now. And she can't smile with teeth anymore? Is that in her contract?

[isadora]

Why can't Tom & Kate stop coming off as totally nutso?

http://www.tmz.com/2006/07/10/exclusive-suri-cruise-birth-certificate/#comments

The birth certificate is even weird!

[deux]

The first thing that jumped out at me was the same as what someone mentioned in post no. 4. I didn't know Katie was a Kate. I always presumed she was Katherine. It's amazing what you can print off on your own printer these days! Then I'm concluding the certifier is a Scientologist.

[isadora]

With this photo (http://www.x17online.com/blog/archive/2006/july/16/article/suri-exists/) Katie & Suri have reached Yeti status. That first picture, between the trees? Bwah! Cracks me up!

[ophy]

Those pictures are just so . . .sad. I honestly feel bad for the poor fucked up brainwashed alien baby machine. *sniff*

[Ginni]

From Holy Moly (http://www.holymoly.co.uk/mailout.html):

A mole was in a club in Tokyo recently and witnessed perhaps the most bizarre incident I have ever heard. It was a very exclusive invite-only club and our mole was with a friend when it looked like it was suddenly 'snowing' inside the club. It wasn't snow at all, but was actually thousands of small white feathers gently fluttering to the ground. His friend went to investigate and came back ashen-faced saying: "Go round the corner and tell me that what I've just witnessed is not a dream."

So the mole went, as instructed, around the corner and saw two go-go dancers gyrating in front of a booth. On closer inspection, he noticed that sat in the booth was a Very Famous Unmarried Hollywood Actor Prone To Starting Litigation If His Sexuality Is Ever Questioned. The actor was ignoring the go-go girls as he had 'bigger fish to fry'. Well, to be more precise, he had an almost-naked and very young man on his lap. Being spanked. While biting a pillow. And waving his head around so violently that the feathers were flying everywhere.

[ophy]

Was the "almost naked and very young man" herman?

tru enuf for me. Poor stupid Katie.

[Herman]

The "very young" part doesn't apply anymore. :(

[isadora]

Even compared to Tom Cruise?

[Herman]

If KH isn't seen as very young for him, then neither am I.

So, Tom Cruise loves to spank young boys, huh? That's news to me.

[Ginni]

18th November? 18th November? !*TH NOVEMBER???????????

Bastards.

[isadora]

:rollin:

[NeoMaxy]

Yes but your wedding will have TWO gay people. His will only have one! You win!

[NeoMaxy]

Hmm...they're saying the TomKat nuptials might not be legal if done in Italy. He can't get a Catholic ceremony there and they won't recognize a Scientology one.

Like they won't seal the deal in some dark Scientology basement or something the week after?

[Linda]

Haven't they already had their Scientology nuptials? On a yacht?

[NeoMaxy]

I think that was a sham story to reneg her "I'm saving my vag for marriage, Klein only got my mouth" virginity that was debunked when she got pregnant.

[Linda]

Lovely.

I was meant to be in Italy next weekend, but alas my plans have changed.

I wonder if Kevin Williamson will be invited. I'm sure he said on one of the DC DVD commentaries that he and KH were BFF.

[NeoMaxy]

I doubt it. Kevin is probably just crawling with body Thetans.

[NeoMaxy]

Seriously, what is she wearing? (http://www.defamer.com/hollywood/tom-cruise/bracciano-or-bust-a-cruiseholmes-wedding-roundup-215422.php)

Baby Suri emerges. And what has happened to Katie's hair in the front? Did someone shave her bangs off?

[soccergirl]

Defamer says what everyone's thinking (http://www.defamer.com/hollywood/tom-cruise/theres-nothing-you-can-do-to-stop-them-now-the-final-cruiseholmes-prewedding-roundup-215767.php)

[Ginni]

Picture Seven. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/in_pictures/6160600.stm)

If that isn't a cry for rescue, I don't know what is.

[piggay]

Ginni - So how does it feel to share a wedding anniversary with TomKat? :rollinpig

[scientologyguru]

I like this version better!

www.givememyremote.com/remote/joey-potter-gets-marriedexclusive-pics-from-the-wedding

[NeoMaxy]

Okay so did they shrink her or have him stand on a box for that pic? Last I checked she was several inches taller than him.

But who's not?

[isadora]

Love that Joey & Pacey wedding! Hee! I would so have skipped Ginni's wedding for Joey and Pacey! But not Tom and Kate!

Now, I read this in a UK tabloidy paper yesterday so I might be wrong but the implication was that Tom's sisters stood up with Katie. I hope that's not true! She has sisters, yes?

How odd of her to spend six years in Wilmy and not be close enough to any of them to invite them to her wedding? That sort of makes me sad for her. *I* have better friends from Dawson's Creek than that! Hee! Shit, I've been to many weddings because of the Creek! I got more out of it than she did on a personal level! That's just fucking sad.

Anyway, Mr. Is and I were pointing and laughing while waiting for our flight at Heathrow as the BBC showed off the "official" wedding portrait! We were like, awww, Katie is all hunched over to appear smaller!

[NeoMaxy]

The websites keep saying the wedding isn't legally recognized by Italy.

I wonder if they won't ever get Civil and just stay married in the eyes of Xenu?

[roly]

They supposedly got married in LA a day or so before they left for Italy. Also, I'm pretty sure I read that Katie's sister was her MoH.

[isadora]

I was relieved to read that! I don't know why. It seems to really bother me that Katie is such "close friends" with people like Jennifer Lopez that they get on the short list. I mean, really? And Brooke Shields was invited? Because they are soclose? Does Brooke have no shame? I'm guessing no. It's just kind of gross. I'm totally fascinated by the spectacle (and I think it's a little tacky to have a big shindig AFTER becoming parents but I'm bizarrely old-fashioned that way--and hypocritical in that I lived in sin, hee!) But this whole thing rubs me the wrong way so I'm probably not the best person to judge.

And Michelle Williams and Heather Ledger never got hitched, did they? If they did and it was all cute pictures and babies and Bridesmaid Busy I somehow wouldn't have a problem with that. I'm a total bitch, clearly.

I just get the feeling that Katie Holmes as a individual seemingly didn't exist before Tom and after high school, you know? It's like she was a nonperson for that decade. It *really* weirds me out! The only remnants of that time are her love of shoes or something. Creepy.

[snickerdoodle]

I found the guest list a little disturbing myself. It just didn't seem like a real wedding, if you know what I mean. Just a bizarre hodgepodge of various levels of celebrity.

[IssieCol]

I just get the feeling that Katie Holmes as a individual seemingly didn't exist before Tom and after high school, you know? It's like she was a nonperson for that decade. It *really* weirds me out! The only remnants of that time are her love of shoes or something. Creepy.

This is EXACTLY how I feel! All that crap she spouted about how she feels like Tom made her life and he is her family now? Did she even consider how that would make her parents feel? She's so weird and hateable.

And to add to the weirdness of their wedding, apparently half her family didn't even come. The older 3 of the Holmes kids seem to have boycotted baby sister's sham partay. Curious.

[isadora]

Maybe they couldn't get past the clamminess? I wonder how he wrangled her parents. He must have turned on the fake charm. Or they just don't want her to be alone.

Okay, I just read the weirdest thing. Leah Remini (crazy clam) says Tom "spontaneously" sang "You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'" to Katie during the reception.

HOW weird is that? His spontaneous moment of love was to rip off a scene from one of his OWN movies?

[IssieCol]

And the lyrics of that song aren't exactly wedding appropriate, you know? Is it a secret Scieno warning to her? I'm just gonna pretend that it is.

[ophy]

How long before the whole thing implodes? I'm assuming there is a betting pool somewhere. I call 18 months.

I wondered the same thing about the DC crew . . .I can understand JJ not attending, because you know awkward, what with how she once gave him her precious flower and then turned around and let Tom's pr flacks pretend she was all virginal and shit. Oh, and what with him having given her the herp. But no Beek at all? What about Kevin Willimason? I thought they were BFF. It's all very puzzling.

[NeoMaxy]

I'm still wondering how she became BFF with Posh Spice. You know she and her friends would rock out to Wannabe in their jammies!

Weird.

[snickerdoodle]

More TomKat Wedding Photos (http://www.katieholmes.com/gallery/thumbnails.php?album=656)

My cynical heart is turning soft in my old age because I think they look kinda sweet.

[NeoMaxy]

Will it help you feel bitchier to know that there's an internet rumor that he had to wear a waist cincher under that coat? :rollin: Tru enuf.

I'm still too distracted by her shorn off bangs. Did she have to sacrifice them? Did she mail locks of her hair to Josh and Chris in a vain attempt to scream for help?

[IssieCol]

I really liked her reception dress, even though Armani just pretended to customize it for her when it was actually part of his line last season. I like it better than the dress she wore to the wedding.

And I'm not seeing the look of desperation/vacancy in her eyes anymore. She actually looks really happy. Which makes me think she's fully Scieno-ized. And I don't know what's sadder, being stuck in a contract relationship that you thought was a good idea at the time and has turned into a disaster or believing fully in the idea that you descended from clams.

[isadora]

At least the clams make her happy?

I'm guessing--based on how vacant she seems to me in general--that these two are a good match. They're attractive and intellectually shallow. I have to assume what passes for deep thought to them probably would sound like stoner nonsense to the rest of us. Clams? Aliens? Exactly.

It seems to me that their friendship with Will & Jada makes sense--what with the anti-education/pro-inner strength feelings. I find them all slightly terrifying but also oddly amusing. Thank Xenu they're in entertainment and not politics.

[ophy]

I actually think the clams were originally grooming Tom for politics, but his latest likeability ratings have derailed that for now. They clearly have had Big Clam Plans for him for awhile.

I totally covet the silvery organza dress form the first few pics. I'm guessing that was the rehersal dinner dress? All in all, KH and her people should get props for the clothes. I was hoping for pics of Posh, though.

Poor Isabella! She has that look of an early teen girl who's feeling insecure and fat and can't stand the fact that cameras catch her everywhere. Or, being around KH so much has caused her spine to leak out.

We are agreed that this is a different baby, though, right? VF Suri had thicker hair and more of a preternaturally wise look to her.

[NeoMaxy]

The Beek was at FatKat's party! Aww. It has to be the best gig he's had in awhile, no?

[isadora]

SHUT! UP!

LINK!!!????

[NeoMaxy]

Here ya go. (http://movies.msn.com/movies/hotgossip/12-11-06_4?GT1=7701)

It only says that Beek and Kerr were there, no pictures. But surely some Beeksite must have a conspiracy theory!

And Tom is really looking puffy.

[Linda]

Kerr Smith went too.

The James/Katie thread at FF is more active than it's been in years.

Kerr arriving. (http://i13.tinypic.com/2wg5083.jpg)

Beek arriving. (http://i10.tinypic.com/30xao3n.jpg)

edited to say I found the pics at FF! Still a fantastic source of information.

[isadora]

I love you.

Beek's wife didn't even get the photo op out of it. Sad. Kerr is alone? I wonder if he's gay. Ha.

[NeoMaxy]

Kerr appears to have a black eye. You think he said something detrimental about the clams? Or talked about the great paternity test show he saw on Maury that day?

[Res]

I think he looks extremely hung over.
Or deep in thought about his career, or lack thereof.

[ophy]

This just makes me want to cry. The J sounds so bitter!

http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/9957303.html#cutid1


Buckhead: You think if you'd call, she'd take the call from you?
JJ: I would guess no but I haven't tried.

[NeoMaxy]

Ha, he knows down to the month how long it's been since he talked to her?

Why do I have this image of a sad JJ marking it off in his day planner?

[isadora]

HOW bitter is he that she invited The Beek to her partay? OMG. Seriously! This is DELISH.

She knows she can't see him, people! It's TOO PAINFUL TO BE REMINDED OF THE PAST. Or she's just a big ol' cunt-faced freaky coat.

*sob*

[NeoMaxy]

Did Katie get a nose job? (http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/10490590.html#cutid1)

It does look like she got it narrowed. It's vaguely WackoJacko.

[piggay]

She used to be so cute. Now. Blah. I'm sure with Posh moving to LA, the new BFFs will get new boob jobs togetha.

[ophy]

Wow. I didn't even recognize those bottom pics. That's just really sad.

[isadora]

Hmm. It does look different! But my friend just had a baby and I swear to God it changed her nose! But I didn't tell her that.

[ophy]

Like Jesus, in a way.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007030603,00.html


TOM Cruise is the new “Christ” of Scientology, according to leaders of the cult-like religion.

We all suspected this. Like to see him pull off a miracle or two, personally.

[NeoMaxy]

If he can get his wife another acting job, that would count as one, right?

ETA: this link (http://www.glitteratigossip.com/glitterati/2007/02/katie_proclaims.html). She is To'Up!

[piggay]

My favorite line in the story:
The future ex-Mrs. Cruise was styled for the pictures by her "good friend," Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham.

I :luv: :luv: :luv: that!

[Ginni]

So I read in yesterday's freebie paper that Mrs Cruise is being sent to Scientology parenting class. Apparently the midget is concerned that her parenting skills aren't up to scratch. She's allegedly mortified and really pissed off.

Could she be waking up and her 'class' is further brainwashing?

[Linda]

I'm watching Madrid play Mallorca on TV right now and when Madrid scored the camera panned to the celebrity fans (Rafa Nadal **swoon**) and there were TomKat sitting next to Posh. I don't like Katie's hair. And I thought David Beckham didn't like TomKat anymore? TomKat were clapping and cheering like they have a clue about football. Oh, Madrid score again and we cut to TomKat clapping while wearing ridiculous sunglasses - it's 10.30pm in Spain.

[ophy]

I like KH's new haircut!

And for some reason, I find this pic of KH and Suri at a soccer game really moving: http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20047654,00.html

I don't know if it's the mother-daughter aspect, or just the stoic, nearly tragic look on her face, but she looks older and less melty-wax here. I like to think that while holding her child and staring out over the verdant green field, she's contemplating the wrong!bad!kerrrazy! turn her life has taken. Or maybe, she's steeling herself for the tough choices she will need to make during her inevitable flight back from Crazy Clamtown.

[diesel]

I like the short haircut too!

Came here to post this for Is; I figure Nicole Kidman's pregnancies by Tom Cruise can go in the TomKat thread: Nicole Kidman: I lost Tom's baby when I was 23 (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/showbiz/showbiznews.html?in_article_id=479910&in_page_id=1773)

[isadora]

You know I have plans to pick that VF up ASAP! I was too excited about getting some Nicole Kidman dish!

[ophy]

Ted C.'s (from E!) reaction:


• Ever since that jaw-dropping Vanity Fair bit Nicole Kidman blurted out in the last issue (the one she wasn't entirely her perky self for, in a few ways), I’ve been hearing back—quite, uh, enthusiastically, I’ll say—from some professional types who guided Tom and Nicole during their marriage. Now, these folks are supposed to be shot on sight by Tom’s lawyers for gabbing to moi (this only a slightly hysterical declaration), so let’s hear it for their bravery, 'kay? Good, now that everybody’s done e-cheering:

To avoid getting both barrels between my eyes from Camp C, let’s just describe this one by saying some experts who were paid most handsomely by Mr. and Mrs. Cruise (second installment, that is) were more than taken aback, once they heard Nic’s announcement that she was preggers with Tom’s kiddo not once but twice.

You might as well have told these über-pricey men in white that puce is the new black. Disbelief on their part was an, ahem, understatement.
http://www.eonline.com/gossip/awful/index.jsp?uuid=802fbded-158c-4df3-9559-678aafba9ec9&page=2

Most people are adding that to the Blind Item Crazy Days and Nights ran a few weeks back (I mistakenly attributed it to Ted C. as well). http://blinditems.typepad.com/dish/2007/09/the-magazine-in.html

From Crazy Days and Nights: This A list actress was paid a substantial sum of money and got the rights to produce a movie which had been previously unavailable all for making some comments in a magazine interview.

Methinks: Nicole Kidman, Vanity Fair interview, comments about miscarrying Tom's babies

[NeoMaxy]

http://dlisted.com/node/24136

I have no comment on the actual story but that picture? OMB. She looks like Tom in drag! Is she trying to sneak into a NYC apartment building for women only with her pal Peter Scolari?

[vanessa]

That picture actually scares me.

[NeoMaxy]

Seriously. Nothing has ever been that funny. Ever. Hit her RESET button, Tom!

I was in the store earlier and a cover of Star magazine had the screaming headline: "Suri's Strange World! No TV or Happy meals!"

What's so strange about that, Star Magazine? Must be a slow week.

[isadora]

Mr. Is and I were giggling over that, too. Um, sounds like decent parenting to me.

[NeoMaxy]

I bet she's not allowed to play with matches either! Those bastards.

[isadora]

Okay, so Katie is rocking some early '80s hairdo, which is at least slightly less matronly than her look of late. But this (http://perezhilton.com/2008-07-17-we-hope-this-isnt-a-new-trend) hand (http://perezhilton.com/2008-07-17-what-happened-2) thing is whackadoodle! (http://perezhilton.com/category/katie-holmes/)

Her hands are completely discolored and look sort of weird and blackened and this might be the result of insane vitamin dosing that stupid Scientology endorses.

I just can't take it. I feel like Kate's nutritional/eating disorder problems coupled with this unorthodox overdosing on vitamins is likely dangerous.

Those clams worry me sometimes.

[ophy]

Only sometimes????

[Sarah]

Dude, they don't have a shot of her whole outfit. The jeans are PEGGED and ROLLED. I forgot about the guest spot on Stone so maybe that's it. It's way too far over. His brain time travels sometimes. Hmmmmm. I guess it could just be her outfit. After all, I was just in Nordstrom and they had the hi-top Reeboks with velcro and everything.

[isadora]

I can get past her picking up on recycled fashion trends--particularly since she wasn't really there for it the first time--but Sarah? THE WOMAN'S HANDS ARE PURPLE!

[Sarah]

Heeeeeeeeeeee. I know! They're trying to play it down with Stone gossip. Remember when Gwyneth had the big spots on her back when they sucked the bad stuff out? :rollin: They're just so dumb sometimes. I don't get it.

[isadora]

Only sometimes!?

TM: OPHY.

[wacked_kath]

Whee! A new TM to reference!

[ophy]

Ha! I :heart: it.

[Sarah]

What'd I miss? Why did Wagner leave UA? Tom's staying? I thought Cruise/Wagner were forevah?

[isadora]

I know. Interesting, yes?

Like when he fired his long-time publicist and hired his clam sister.

[NeoMaxy]

Ha. I'm twelve because I just realize Tom is a bearded clam. Or is it Katie as she is both beard AND clam? Hmm.

[ophy]

http://blindgossip.com/index.php/2009/05/12/she-has-finally-pulled-the-chip-out-of-her-head/


BlindGossip - She has finally pulled the chip out of her head and is shedding her controlling hubby! And, boy, is he mad! Her attorneys are working on a “Dissolution of Contract,” not a “Dissolution of Marriage” - yet. That’s the next step. She will be asking for sole custody of the kid/s. She is not currently pregnant.
Her attorneys - especially one who worked with her predecessor - have been able to work around most of the restrictions in her original business agreement with her husband. She did not fulfill the terms of the contract that would maximize her payout, but she will receive a sizeable chunk of change to keep quiet about his personal life and his special relationship with another high-profile man.

You will still see them together, albeit much less frequently, and they will continue to be very civil towards each other. They will attend events and will travel as a family when one goes to work. They will both have smiles plastered on their faces, but you will know that hers is really just a smirk, and he is absolutely seething inside over having lost control of the situation.

In the past few weeks, she has left two events separately from her husband because she was so annoyed with his behavior. Each time, she met up with her ex for several hours. While she is spending time with her ex, we do not know if they are romantically involved again.

SQUEEEEEEEEE!

I don't for a second think that JJ is into KH anymore, but maybe he's doing an intervention? I know, it could be CK, but I'm choosing to believe it's JJ, with DK's approval. I doubt he does much anymore without that.

[isadora]

Bwah! I was running here to post that! LOVE RLTL4EVA!!!!!

Also? Don't count JJ out. That DK is just a placeholder.

I love this blind item. I want to marry it.

[Sarah]

:heart: :heart: :heart:

[vanessa]

HEART. I wonder who Tom's other man is.

[ophy]

I don't know! I am starting to think that DK has the poor boy totally whipped. She dresses him! She drags him to kerrrazy boring fashion events he never would have gone to otherwise! In an ascot! He never gets into fights at hockey games anymore! He never even goes to hockey games anymore! Or at least he never seems to be photographed there. She even has him driving around in a euro scooter.

Honestly, I think he's done for. I think DK will be his first wife/first divorce. The he'll decide to follow George Clooney's example and turn back into the unattached manwhore we all know and lurve.

Anyway, don't you think this blind item is a little *too* obvious? But I can't think of anyone else it could be.

As far as the other man goes, the general consensus is that this other blind (http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b120392_blind_vice_star_couple_showdown.html) is about Will Smith and Tom Cruise.

[IssieCol]

I would totally "WORD" your whole post, Ophy, except DK won't marry Josh. She's said it everywhere that she doesn't really believe in marriage ever since her first one went kaput. I actually think it's part of what keeps The J hooked on her.

But he is totally (http://www.popsugar.com/2894901) whipped (http://www.hellomagazine.com/film/video/200903116/joshua/jackson/interview/1/). Like, super.

And I don't even think that blind item is in any way blind. It's not even pretending to be about anyone but the Cruises. And <smallvoice> I think if she's seeing any ex it's CK1 <smallvoice>.

[isadora]

CK1 was just sooo bitter after the break-up I can't fathom it being him. He detested her in a couple of articles. I felt embarrassed for him.

That said, I think The Dirty J would be verrray interested in "saving" Katie, if not dating her right now. And I think DK plays JJ very well. He needs someone who doesn't want to marry him and treats him like arm candy. I could see how that would turn his crank, actually.

And could that E-online blind item be any more obvious? I mean "flying around" is totes $cientology code for homo in the air/straight on the ground clam rules!

So obviously Will and Jada!

[ophy]

Y'all are right . . . I had forgotten DK's first marriage. I can see where that would appeal to JJ and keep him around for a really long time.

I'm all giddy inside now when I look at Katie and Suri pics. Freedom will soon be yours, girls!

[ophy]

I sometimes think one of the Fug Girls posts on this board because they think just like we do! They think about RLTL fanfic. And come to the same blind item conclusions.

DK/JJ/KH/TC (http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2009/05/fug_or_fab_diane_kruger.html#more)


Pacey and Diane are so cute together! I don't want him to leave her to go back to Katie Holmes! That would be terrible! It would ruin the fanfic I'm obviously about two weeks from writing, based on how much I love this next photo.

[roly]

Well, Jessica of GFY is the same Jessica who recapped the last couple of seasons of Dawson's Creek for TWOP. She tends to drop a lot of DC and Original 90210 references in her commentary.

[ophy]

Another blind that is supposed to be about KH here. (http://blindgossip.com/index.php/2009/05/29/this-actress-needs-a-dentist-and-a-psychiatrist/)


This dark-haired actress has developed a weird eating style. On the rare occasions that she does eat, she doesn’t like the food to touch her lips. She opens up her mouth really wide and pulls the food off the fork with her teeth. We don’t know if this behavior is related to the ongoing problems she is having with her teeth, which were absolutely destroyed by an eating disorder in her teens. They became so eroded that she had to have them shaved down and have porcelain veneers applied to every single tooth at $2000 a pop. She can afford it. It’s just too bad that the eating disorder appears to be back. Conveniently for her, so are baggy boyfriend jeans.

Folks are pointing to this pic (http://yeeeah.com/2008/10/23/what-in-holy-hell-happened-to-katie-holmes-teeth/) to prove that it is KH. Kind of a no brainer. Those are some fucked up teeth.

[isadora]

Think about her hair during the last two seasons! Poor thing. She's a big ol' mess.